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MY SOUTH AMERICAN ADVENTURE: BORDER HOPPING

Date of entry: June 1, 2009

Another day another dollar. …Spent in our case, as Tom and I seem to bus 🚌 hop for fun.

So, as I write this at 6.57pm on day 28 (exactly 4 weeks of my trip) in a holed away internet cafe that fronts as a convenience store, I hear you ask, how is Ecuador so far?

Well for one… The general standard of the female figure is again reminiscent of being holed away in a cubby somewhere in Utah, The Outback or some other such godforsaken place.

However, Tom and I, having heard of the growing reputation of this dangerous city as a place to ALWAYS catch a taxi 🚕 by night, are concentrated on keeping our wits and passports about us.

This city is a sprawling kaleidoscope 🔭 of:

  • houses  on hills
  • cable cars in clouds
  • Indians in flip flops

It’s a tough old slog getting up Quito’s many hills 🖼️. Having seen a stunning church ⛪, clapped for some amazing local musicians jamming in an old basement, sampling a local dish and hunting for jeans for Tom´s, we were done.

It is also worth noting that Tom and I could feature on “South America’s Dumbest Tourists”.

Having heard of the robbings at gunpoint, seen the knife wounds of people that have been mugged, and only today learned of a Dutch girl that is currently in our hostel has been the victim of three attempted muggings…

Well…

Deepak and Tom, walk about the streets on a Saturday in their shorts and flip-flops carrying $200 dollars a piece in their pockets.

They wander around under the setting sun trying to locate our hostel, and head off to the dangerous part of town in the evening to get pissed and practice our Spanglish with unsuspecting locals.

The evening was finished off by the two of us wandering around in the new town telling each other to, “Fuck off mate!” incessantly, and calling the taxi man bona fide knob jockey when he wanted $3 for the ride instead of our $2 we offered..

Had a good night though…

07022008553Love the tongs…..

Rule Number 1: When dining late in a dangerous city, do so with long shorts, flip flops and socks. It confuses the shit out of the locals. So much so into not robbing you.

07022008563Knock ´em back big man! 🍺

When attempting to scare off potential knife 🔪 and gun wielding assailants, hold two beers, put a silly slip in your eyebrow and try to look as árd as Nails!

08022008602The morning after the night before..don’t worry Tom, I looked worse….

Right, I gotta shoot.

But I will send update this blog to prove that these pictures are actually from Quito, and not Bognor Regis, or Utah…not that there’s anything wrong with Bognor Regis or Utah.

But, Let’s be serious. This is what you want to see don’t you?

Ha ha. 😆

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