Sometimes in life, when you are going through a rough patch, spending some time to yourself to reflect is necessary.
Malta and Reasons Why
I lived in Malta for a period of time between 2015 – 2016. It’s a small island in the Mediterranean Sea which lies just south Sicily, Italy.
I found myself there because, on one of my last days in Amsterdam, I fell off my bike and ended up tearing my supraspinatus tendon (that involves the rotator cuff in the shoulder). Due to the fall and the injury that followed, my military training was set back.
I still needed to keep fit, so I could return in January, which led me to spend 4 to 6 weeks there on the island in order to recover and get back into shape.
I settled in St Julian’s Bay, a seaside town known for its boutiques and beautiful beaches. As beautiful as it was, unfortunately, I remember living there as being a little bit of an unhappy time in my life.
Surely You Must be Lost…
During my stay in Malta, I felt a bit lost in terms of where I was in life. I was in the middle of applying to the British Special Forces and at the same time I thought my personal walls were tumbling down.
Daniela and I weren’t together at the time and she was someone I relied upon a little too much. I had my own insecurity issues- thinking that I was not enough, even for myself.
Daniela was (is) the woman I love but looking back, I can see there were problems with me that had nothing to do with her. As a result, I was continuously unhappy with not only myself but life in general.
What to Do…
In order to distract myself from the inner monolog, I spent my time in Malta running along the bay every day. It was absolutely beautiful during winter even though it was 20 degrees.
Ultimately, running didn’t prove to be a big enough distraction for me.
But partying, I thought, could be…
And if you wanted to party, you would go to Valletta. Valletta is the capital of Malta and its nightlife is fantastic.
Trust me, I know.
French Distractions, Swedish Distractions… Distractions
While in the city, I stayed in this place that I found via a Facebook group while searching different means of cheap rent in the area. This particular place was actually a student flat. I was there for 2 months with the company of 3 French girls… it was an entire French house, actually, now that I think about it.
And a lot of interesting things happened while living in that house.
The truth is, what happened was that I ended up chasing a lot of girls.
I remember there was a Swedish girl I spent a night with then never saw again, followed by another girl who ended up chasing me via Whatsapp.
Tinder also led me to some interesting places, to say the least.
It really was all about meeting girls for a brief period.
Looking back on it, I was trying to get past Daniela. It was a weird space- all I was doing was seeking distractions that didn’t work for me whatsoever.
Girls and running – those were my distractions. Running was, by far, the healthier of the two.
I was running every day while I lived in Malta.
One week 5K.
The next week 7K.
The next week 10K.
Then I would go out to Valetta in the evenings, which was literally about a 10 to 15-minute walk away from where I was living.
This became my routine of constant distraction.
And it did little to cheer me up.
At the end of the day, Malta is beautiful, but I don’t recall ever being particularly happy there, except for when I saw my friends.
I Get by With a Little Help From My Friends…
I had friends that came out to visit me during my time there which was one of the awesome parts of the whole experience.
A bunch of guys that I met during Army introduction came to see me quite often and it was an experience anytime these guys were around.
My cousin AJ also came out to see me and we all just kind of collectively partied together.
Our nights together were pretty simple, actually:
- We went out
- We got drunk
- We hung out with the girls
Our days were full of:
Overall, I do think Malta would have been a lot harder for me if I didn’t have my friends around to keep me occupied. Coincidentally, those nights out with my friends also led me to meet a man– an over-the-top character that I came to admire– by the name of Bobby Cutts.
There is only one way to describe Bobby Cutts – He was a crazy American dude.
Bobby had a trading company worth a ton of money and made his way to Malta to party every night and pick up women. He did a great job at it too- all with his charm and his money.
He’s probably one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. He was a good guy and good company. Bobby was definitely one of the people who saw me through a rough time. We’d have these in-depth conversations about life and he’d always say he saw something special in me. Honestly, at that time I needed to hear things like that.
It Wasn’t All Bad
As low as my time in Malta was due to my own personal issues, some good things did come from being there while living a life of girls, partying, running, friends, and reflection.
Most of all, spending that time alone in the city taught me how to pull myself up and out of unhappiness.